DStilled

Death of a Snowman

After the great snow of ‘08, I decided I wouldn’t waste one more warming day.  So I built myself a man who’s made of snow.

He’s suave and all - even stood guard outside my door - but I felt like there’s was a bit too much competition going on for the ladies of LPTS.  Thus:

I could’ve saved him.  But we both knew there was only room for one cool dude here at a time.

Snow Yoga

As I sit here eating cookie dough, I’m reminded of how good milk is.  Skim milk.  Is there anything in the world more refreshing at times?  Yes, I’m eating what would be the equivalent of 10 cookies, but this is dinner and that’s ok.  Also, I went to my first Yoga class tonight.  It was at the Y and I’ll hopefully be continuing it soon.  I’ve got a couple of trial times I can go before I need to start paying.  It is called Fitness Yoga but I thing the “Fitness” part is just marketing redundancy.  The class was in fact half newbies like me and nothing was overly difficult.  For some of you out there who find yoga very hard, blame it on your instructor.  Mine was uber-nice and didn’t push us hard at all.  Also, I’m not inflexible so I could at least get into all the basic positions we did.  Besides not really being able to hinge from my hips while keeping my back straight, I felt great the whole time.  I hope to keep this up consistently for quite some time.  The Y also has Aqua Aerobics classes that I want to attend.  If that doesn’t get my endurance up I don’t know what will.  Whenever I get the membership set up, I plan on going to the Y four times a week.  I REALLY need this.

As many of you have had the past couple of days, Louisville is blanketed with snow.  It is really nice to have at least one good (more than 3 inches) snow storm every now and then.  But this crazy weather will melt it all away before the weekend is over.  (For goodness sake, my last post was about a summer-like storm with tornadoes!)  We had a snow day Tuesday which meant that the seminary had no scheduled activities.  Because Tuesday is my longest day, that didn’t bother me too much.  I was however looking forward to my first group supervision for the counseling program.  Alas, next week will be my first.

Let’s see, what else is going on.  Well Obama and McCain seem to be doing nicely in the primaries.  I went to Lex this weekend to enjoy fondue and game night as well as some much needed conversation and church.  I broke Lent when I purchased a food item: one roll of cookie dough.  I figured out how many meals I had in my apt left, and it was way short.  So one roll of Pillsbury will yield about 8 sad meals but I’ll get enough fat, calories, and carbs to get me through.  Also, I’ll drink more milk and that fills me up too.  I’m taking a multi-vitamin so I won’t get sick and die.  UK and UVa both lost tonight in bball.  Oh yeah, and happy St. Valentine’s Day to you all!  And especially you.

“Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love because a heart can break but a circle goes on forever.” - Unknown

Tornado Fasting

Well, I suppose you can’t fast from what the insurance people call “acts of God” so that’s off my list for things to fast from during Lent.  But yeah, right now in the city of Louisville, we are under a Tornado Warning.  The sirens letting us know this is for real and urgent.  I for one am irrationally calm.  Perhaps it’s the illusion of safety I have in my life and in this concrete apartment building I live in.  Perhaps I’m still young and stupid enough to feel invincible against the unknown.  Perhaps I know that IF it’s my time to die then so be it.  I’m okay with that.  I’ve been looking forward to Heaven since I was 12.  Otherwise, I’ll be safe in my very solid concrete bomb shelter of an apartment.  The sirens just died down so I guess I’m fine now.   I love the summer-like thunderstorms we’ve had the past week.  I would have my windows open but the siren actually going off clued me that I should at least take that precaution.  Now it’s back on.  I can hear the intense wind whipping the rain in and between the buildings.  The rain is almost sideways and stuff is blowing around out there.  Trees are paying homage to the power of the storm.  Some are even breaking apart.  There is a river of runoff flowing through the big field that would be called my back yard.  I just saw lightning light up the sky to show off a rainbow!  I do love storms.

Today is now Ash Wednesday which means that this is the day when people all around the world fast from certain things.  Fasting is meant to focus your energy on God and aways from this world.  It is also common to use the money you would spend on whatever and give it either to the poor, a charity, or to the church.   I’ve decided to do something for Lent as well but I haven’t really decided what it will be yet.  Right now one of the front runners (for all you SuperTuesday fans) is fasting from all food.  I’ve always wanted to do it and there’s no reason not to right now.  The only annoying thing about that is the food I still have in my fridge.  So what I really might do is not spend another penny on food and live off of what I have already.  This will enable discipline and be more responsible than letting some of it go to waste.  Also, I will be able to more tangibly know how much money I will give away because I know how much I spend on food.  So this includes eating out of course and accepting people to pay for my meals.  Since part of this is to not let food go to waste, if I am out at a restaurant and someone is not going to take their left overs home with them, then I may partake (but no more than one half of what is there).  Also, if I am at a social function and the hour is getting late with plenty of food still left over, I may also consume some (but no more than a third of what is there).  I’m giving myself until midnight tonight to decide for sure on something but I won’t be spending money on food just in case that’s what I go with.  Any thoughts?  Click on COMMENTS.

Shower Abstinence

Happy happy joy joy! I can drive like I want again! Not that this isn’t ever not true, but self-imposed restrictions for empathetic purposes have hindered such as of late. It is quite wonderful and I missed it. Here are the last couple of entries in my log followed by something I’ve been up to in my bathroom.

1/21
I must confess that I broke the traffic laws many times today. I started to forget about the regulation I had put on myself and just drove slowly for driving’s sake. In other words, I’ve been driving slower for a while now and I got a better “feel” for it. So I was driving according to that feel instead of every 2 seconds looking at the speedo. But this of course caused me to speed up slightly when something would happen or whatever. So probably about 10 times I went anywhere from 1-4 miles an hour over the limit. My first thoughts were of rationalization and minimization and these are the exact ways I convince myself that any wrong thing I do is ok. They are powerful tools that all addicts utilize. When I eat too much, when I skip responsibilities, when I put people down, and when I break laws designed for safety, I can always justify it. I have learned not to enough that change is possible, but the immediate response is still there. One of the things addicts have taught me is to get out of myself. I need to focus on others and God to truly develop a sense of selflessness and humility. It is only through these that I can break the cycles of negative habits and replace them with positive change. Honestly, it inspires me. I don’t have nearly the things going against me and I’ve got more going for me; of course I can change! Now’s the matter of what am I ready to change? Or perhaps better put, what am I ready to let go? Wow, those bodhisattvas sure are on to something here.

1/22
Went to the Morton Center today. It was nice and everything but we didn’t get nearly the experience of the patients like we did at the Healing Place. I was impressed with the staff and facilities. Because they take a systems approach, all their rooms are able to accommodate families and groups. Alcoholism certainly seems like a problem with the system instead of the individual and that means a systems method is the way to help the patients. I’m not sure I could see myself there as a practicum site, but then again maybe its because I’d rather not. I’m ready for some speed under my wheels.

1/23
I’m very much looking forward to running my errands tomorrow because I will be free to disregard the laws! Wow that sounds so much worse than it feels. But basically, I’ll be once again able to drive according to feel and laws instead of only by rules. I will incorporate some of what I’ve learned into my driving from now on, but for tomorrow, I’m just not going to worry about that. My car’s going to think, “I thought you had decided to be super duper nice you me from now on.” Turns out, I didn’t even get that much better gas mileage, which surprised me. If I was getting 28 mpg before, I got maybe 30 going extra slow. I guess that is a testament that my “normal” driving isn’t fierce, just harder.
I was talking to someone today about my day, and I had to remark that I was annoyed most of the class. When we were comparing the Healing Place and the Morton Center it seemed like everyone was nit picking apart the two places trying to make them “better.” That’s all well and good but something about it irked me. I like critique and constructive criticism as much as the next scientist, but here in the social sciences, there was something fundamentally wrong with what they were doing. I don’t think anyone would say that everyone fits a treatment plan or a plan fits everyone. However, people kept harping on what each place lacked (mainly looking down upon the Healing Place) instead of seeing that they don’t lack anything for the patients they help. It was as if everyone is searching for a universal integrative systems model instead of seeing the specific usefulness of each model in its specific place and time. I was really just getting annoyed. So often I feel like that’s what these systems thinkers are doing: trying to make a system that everything fits into, trying to make a system where no one is left out. It’s ok to have more than one system! I like it that the Healing Place doesn’t do therapy the way you think it needs to be done! Many of these patients’ brains work differently and don’t/can’t process they way you want them to! It’s as if they didn’t get to the heart of being empathic at all in this course.

So now that THAT is over let me tell you what I learned: I need endorphines! Endorphines are the hormones in your body that come alive when you become active or productive. They are adrenaline’s casual cousin, if you want to think about it that way. This class was about change and the thing that needs to change in my life right now is how sedentary I am. So I’m napping less and trying to do more. Everything I do at school, work, counseling, and study, I do sitting down. I’ve “evolved” passed the blue-collar line of living and do everything with my mind and words. I don’t like it! I NEED motion and physical exertion! One of the happiest times in my life was when I was working full time at NTB, going to school full time, rock climbing, playing basketball, and racquetball every week. I was also in the best shape of my adult life. I’m not unfit now by any means but I’m sedentary and that’s what has got to change.

So, in almost everyone’s bathroom there exists a showerhead. Some are very simple and then others are very fancy. I’ve made a simply fancy showerhead out of pvc and ingenuity. It works of course and is a joy to be in. This project grew out of my desire to be overwhelmed by the hot water at the end of the shower time. So one day I filled the tub up and soaked like it was a hot tub. Very nice. However, when I pulled the plug, the pipes started to freak out below me and my neighbors underneath had small geysers of muck coming up in their tubs! I won’t be doing that anymore. It is detachable so I’ll take this with me to anyplace I live, and I’ll paint it eventually. It cost me a little more for start-up, but I’m going to market them for $20 if anyone wants one. Just let me know by clicking Comments. Happy Groundhog Day-ish!